glasses-a new way to see through me

i miss him. but i dont miss him. im so weird. ahaha. at the moment i feel like a pair of scales. toppling over towards one side a little to easily. im going through my whole 'emotional-right-before-i-leave' stage. it sucks. i cant even describe just how much it sucks. i love nz. but i love brunei. people always say 'arent you glad to go home??'. bruneis my home. i love it, and ill never stop loving it. and i hate it how i only even begun to apprciate it from the time i knew i was leaving till when ive left.

setting it all out straight...

i live in a boarding school. i love it to peices. i have great, close friends in boarding-phoebe, michelle, ema, and ish. ema just left. ish is yr 10, and phoebe and mitchy are yr 11. and im a waffling big yr 12. i had my yr 12 friends in boarding-holly, fliss and avril. but they all left this yr. therer are 10 more girls in my yr-all of them bitchy and plastic. and im weird un as unplasticaslly as you can get! ...so not my kinda people, ay? i love my younger friends. but when i go to year group meetings who am i supposed to go with? what about assemblys? ..oh god... and im really really starting to worry about going back. i honestly love it to there, but i really really REALLY hope that another NORMAL person starts boarding. i could hang out with my guy friends, but id get called a slut. if i hang out with the girls in my yr then im 'a bitch'. its a loose/loose situation. i just dont know what to do...i want normal people! argh!

*end of rant*